i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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