Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
