your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
