Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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