Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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