you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize