Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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