one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize