i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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