You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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