Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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