You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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