i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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