before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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