She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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