In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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