I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize