So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Randomize
