I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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