I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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