I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
