I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
