Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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