We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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