oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
