I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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