You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
