Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
