I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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