I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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