I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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