So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How does it feel to date your dad?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
