the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
