The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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