Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
