That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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