last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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