I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
