Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.