Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books