well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.