your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
