it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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