Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
