i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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