I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I deserve this hangover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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