the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
