idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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