We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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