yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this just has baby written all over it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
