what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize