I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
