Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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