drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
