If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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