Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
