just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize