Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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