i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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