I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
