Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
