I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize