I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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