Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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