I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize