You surviving the open bar?
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It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
